Love Never Hurts

So, since last valentine, I have not written anything about "Love". I would not have as well, if I did not come to hear about suicide of a +2 girl just because her "SO CALLED" love dumped her through text.

If you will ask me about my reaction after hearing this, I laughed out loudly at first. Seriously, I could not control. Nevertheless, I was not laughing at her death. Do not mean it. Rather than I was laughing at the word "Love" and the definition people give it, and the insanity they show by blaming this word.

Ok, let’s not transgress the topic. After analyzing the whole scenario of suicide, I found, most of the people at funeral believe, the problem was "Love". The love to the extent she did to her "BOYFRIEND" made her kill herself.  Some were even giving sympathy that she could not live her life without a "MAN" and killed herself. Shit, to this believe!!!

I do not agree. The first thing, frankly speaking, there is nothing like dying without a person. Is our life all about to be validated by our lover? Is there nothing else to do in life? Is the life all about love? Or was not she alive before he was in her life? Oh god, there were series of questions popping in my head. 

But I felt more pity on her, after noticing one interesting fact. The fact was "It was not "Love".” It was not "Love" that she did to that guy. I am no one to claim it, but yes , it simply was not. It was just a desire to get that person. And, desire to get someone is attraction; it is not love.  

Love is pure. It does not have any fault. If you "Love" someone, don't love simply to gain. If you are in illusion that "love is to gain", then yes, it will hurt. I must not repeat, it causes death as well. See, she is now dead for no reason. Her life has ended. Yes, everything ended for no reason.  Love never hurts. Selfishness to get that person hurts. Desires and dissatisfaction hurts. 

If you claim to love someone to the extent that you can commit suicide for that person, then you should have guts to let him go. Is not it? 

I know you may think these things are just applicable in words. In practical life, your heart may even stop when you see your loved one hugging someone else, and you got to see their beautiful pictures in social networking sites. But, trust me, it is practically possible. If you love, be happy for the happiness of that person.. Mark my words. . Love, but never to gain!!! 

Life is simply not about gaining everything. Yes, it may hurt if you are addicted to a person, and suddenly the person clears his path. But it's what makes you stronger at the end, and love is all about being better at the end. Something is completely upon fate, and you cannot change it. Perhaps, you got to accept it. Somebody is never meant for us, but it does not mean you cannot live further.  It does not mean it is the end. May be your life demands the next chapter, perhaps the beautiful one? There is one special person for you, and sooner or later that person will come around. So, held your head high, and live your life. Yes, explore the world. You never know who is waiting you at the end of this road.!!!! 

Good Luck to all the selfless lovers!!!!! 

Sadikshya Gautam "Sad-Is Saw" is an emerging author and coming up with her novel on love and relationship . Her passion ranges from travelling to cultural investigations, from sports to debating. She shares that in her naive mind, universe and human existence has always been a matter of curiosity and the world seems in terms of stories. 

Why The Prejudice

Last Friday, I went for shopping to buy a birthday present for my cousin. I was wandering through the shop’s showcases. Suddenly, the shopkeeper came near and asked what I was searching for. I told him about my cousin. He handed me a Barbie doll and said, “She will like it.” I paused for moment, and looked back at the price tag. It was reasonable so I bought it. But I was still dazzled just by thinking that I was searching for a gift for my little sister so he handed me dolls. If I had said my cousin was ‘boy’, he would have handed me toy guns, balls or cars, birthday presents I used to get when I was a child. I glimpsed back at my life to see if I ever had a Barbie doll as a present. The answer was simply “NO”.

Since the age of a year I have been handed cars, balls, guns etc. I still don’t know why even at the age of four to six I was interested in them. But the question still exists, were those things that I really wanted? No. Never was I told that boys should like these types of items. But I didn't want to be any exception. So it was what the society wanted. The answer for this question is the continuity of our world. It has been this way since my birth and I am still in this marathon. I can remember what it has turned me into. I was not the muscular and athletic type of guy in the school. Because of this I was not counted as the good ones. Still, my question is WHY? Why boys need to be good at sports? Although my teachers used to say that the education is what determines your intellectual.
 
I want to be familiar and good with my friends. Whereas if I see a part of a girl, the girls good at sports is outnumbered by the girls good at make-up. The sport skill of a girl is countless in the group of friends in comparison to the make-up skill of a girl. Although if she is really “the number one”, everyone will praise her, else the struggle remains the same. Even I laid my eyes on those make-up queens.
I had thought, when I would grow up, this nightmare would end. But now I realize that this society has a lot prepared for me. It wants me to go to the university, to get a good job, to be rich and to marry a beautiful girl. And then again, prepare the same kind of life for my children, but in the luxurious way. Again, I am surprised that the timeline is different for my opposite sex. She needs to get a college degree not to get a job and be rich, but to teach her children. She needs to be prepared to be decent and beautiful, and find a rich guy with whom she can live happily ever after.

I remember a beautiful line that we have in our culture, “Everything is written in our fate.” I don’t know whether it’s true or not, but I am sure that our society has designed our life and we try our best to fit in. And if we can’t, we die with the frustration, although we can always find exceptions. Many people live a life of frustration because they were not able to live according to this predesigned life. Still the question is why do they? With no doubt, the answer is same. But my last question is, until when? And I need the answer.

Subash Mishra is an activist. He believes in exploring . He wants  everyone to feel they are different and they are something for this world. He is international  service director of the Rotoract club of chandragiri. He is also working in FEDUC Nepal to promote E-learning.